Cars, Motoring and Related

It’s happened. I have officially become old!

Why?

I have fitted a tow bar to the MG, so that I can….. well…. tow things. I’m slipping rapidly in to middle age! This isn’t quite the full story though.

About a month ago, I decided that I was getting a bit portly and some exercise was needed. Being a gym hater, I pondered all the other types of exercise that I could do to reduce my girth and the only one that really gave me any enthusiasm was karting.

I used to kart quite a bit, mainly endurance racing, which took me all over the country and used to keep me very fit. In recent years however, I gave it up, mainly down to the difficulty of trying to get reliable team mates. Unfortunately, once a racer, always a racer and in the back of my mind I have always wanted to get back out on track. This time though, I decided that I needed to be self sufficient and that my involvement would be on a strictly open practice day basis, just to get me fit. Well, that was the plan anyway.

The idea was to purchase a cheap twin engined Honda Prokart, which would be inexpensive, reliable and easy to run. Maintenance is generally non existent and a decent race set up one can be great fun, unlike the heavy clunker hire versions that you find at many an arrive and drive kart centre. So I hit eBay with a mental limit of £500 and an itchy bidding finger.

A couple of days later I was picking up my winnings, an unknown chassis make complete with newly rebuilt trailer and spares package (read a load of karting bits the guy just wanted to get rid of!). It wasn’t the most wonderful kart in the world, but for the money it was right and I could get back on track again. The only thing I would need to do was adjust the seat to fit.

This is where it all started to go wrong.

There are certain things that you do in life that give you pleasure. They shouldn’t, but they do. Prepping a kart is one such thing for me. There is something very cathartic about cleaning down, tightening, tweaking, and generally working on a kart for me, and I hadn’t realised it until this point.

Looking a lot better for its tinkering, the kart and I ventured on to track the next day. I had decided that it was just exercise, and it didn’t matter if the kart wasn’t that quick, the important thing was that I would be building my stamina and getting fit. Except that it didn’t happen like that. At the track was another Prokart, which whilst neatly prepared would have not caused me any problems in the past. Today though, he was quicker, no matter what I did, and that didn’t sit well with me.

Aside from my extra weight, main problem were the tyres. Fitted to the kart when purchased, it was clear that the compound was too soft and they were creating too much grip for the chassis. The next issue were the engines. Ignoring the grip issues, they were feeling lazy and unable to rev out properly. So, off home I headed with a mental list of bits I needed to get the engines feeling stronger and me lapping quicker.

As I sat on eBay surfing for newer chassis, valve springs, Alfano digital readouts and race prepped engines, I realised something. Gone was the mind set that I was doing this as a cheap way to get fit, it was now about winning, being the fastest and best. I wanted to race again. I wanted to win.

It’s a curious thing, human nature and the need for competition. As much as we try to fight it, we always manage reverting to our basic instincts. At this exact point in time, I have an engine stripped down on my work bench, several bids in on eBay and order in for a new race suit. Inside the fire is still burning. Where did it all go wrong…….?

Many years before some bright spark at Vauxhall realised there may be a market for a cut price super saloon from Australia, an Aussie bloke called Rod decided that he was going to bring the Antipodean equivalent of a BMW M5 in to the UK for us Brits to enjoy. When I discovered this was happening, there was only one thing I could say….. I Just Want One!

My love of Holden started one rainy Saturday afternoon, when the BBC broadcast what I believed to be the best motor racing I had ever seen, the Hardies 1000 from Australia, a race petrol heads would come to know as Bathurst. Racing round the track were not only the Rover SD1’s I supported at the time in the British Touring Car Championship, but V8 engined Fords and Vauxhall Senators with big spoilers! The noise, even on the television, was fantastic and the racing was close. I was in heaven!

My quest for knowledge at that age was endless and within weeks I knew all about the cars, the Holden Commodore and Ford Falcon and the legendary drivers such as Peter Brock and Alan Grice. The cars were different and far more interesting than the bland Sierra Cosworths that were starting to fill the European grids. Over the years I continued to watch the Bathurst race and follow the fortunes of then Holden Racing Team.

Roll forward a good few years. I had spent the best part of six years driving Peugeot 306’s and I wanted something different. Business was good, company car tax rules were different and it was suggested that I buy a new car, to prevent the tax man taking too much from the company. The itch to own a V8 had never gone away so I looked around at what I could get. Aside from anything uber expensive, I was really only left with two options, a left hand drive officially imported Chevrolet Camaro or a used BMW M5. Unfortunately, neither really did it for me. Then one day, in a quarter page add in the back of Autocar came my answer, the Holden Special Vehicles GTS.

I contacted HSV UK, who at the time were the importers and to my luck one of the original demo cars had just come up for sale, a Blue VT1 model of which there were only three in the country. A quick trip to Milton Keynes where they were based and a test drive later, the Holden was mine!

The VT1 was the first of the “new shape” cars, effectively a Vauxhall Omega with a couple of inches added. Fitted to it was a 5.7 litre LS1 Chevrolet engine from a Corvette. This engine was a simpler than the later models, but still kicked out 300bhp and made the most incredible V8 noise. Being an earlier car, the body trim was highlighted with a goldy silver paint. Initially I was a bit put off by this colouration, but as time went on it grew on me to the point where the later models that were all body coloured looked almost a little bland.

It attracted attention every where it went. It was very different from anything else that was available at the time, and the noise was just stopped people in their tracks. A little bit of research also revealed the car I had was actually the press car, most famously driven by a Mr J Clarkson in one of his videos (yes, they were still video’s at the time).

Sadly though, as the months went by, the dynamics disappointed. The steering was dead, and the suspension a little too soft for my liking. Don’t get me wrong, in no way did the car handle anything less than perfectly, it just lacked involvement in every day driving, unless you were travelling at speeds way in excess of the national limit. In some ways it was boring, and far too sensible for me, after all it’s a little anti social to go sideways (one of the HSV’s best party tricks) in to Tesco’s car park. Perhaps my jump from hot hatch to super saloon was a too bigger leap?

Recently I drove one of the race prepped HSV’s as used in a one make series in the far East, at the Rockingham Circuit in Northampton. Certain items such as the gearbox and steering had been retained for these particular cars and driving it was like being taken back eight years. The speeds used were obviously higher than on road use but the underlying feeling of frustration was still there.

Despite all of this I still look back on my time with the HSV with fond memories, to the point where, on long journeys, I miss it refined long legged nature and big comfy seats. Would I have another one, or even its grandson, the VXR8? You bet. Still beats an M5 for me every day.

Well, I’ve had the car a month now and all seems to be going well. The replacement inlet manifold is working well with no rattles or noises and no other problems (touch wood) seemed to have manifested themselves. This doesn’t mean that the car has been left alone though.

After the issues with inlet manifold, I decided to try and prevent the problem occurring again, so one of the first jobs on my to do list was fit an oil catch tank. The premature wear on the actuation arm is thought to come from the oil vapour that is recirculated in to the inlet manifold. The oil, along with various particulate matter is supposed to get in to the ball and socket joint and create premature wear. By fitting an oil catch tank, this problem is supposed to be eliminated. Thirty quid on eBay and about ten minutes worth of fitting later, the ZS was fitted with a shiny silver aluminium oil catch tank. Let’s just hope it work!

Next up was the stereo. One of the most important safety features, in my opinion, that can be fitted to any car is a blue tooth hands free kit. However on trying to fit the Mutant unit that I had kicking around, I found the aperture for the radio on the ZS is not deep enough to accommodate anything other than the standard fit unit. Being a bit of a perfectionist, I was not prepared mess the look of the dash up and sit the head unit further forward, so I took to the plastic moulding at the back with a hacksaw blade. Fortunately there are no wires or cables running behind, so it was a relatively simple job. Once out, the stereo fitted straight off.

Another important safety item, the front tyres were next on the list. I knew the tread was getting low when I bought the car and preferred to negotiate a discount rather than get the dealer to replace them, and put on some Chinese no branded make that would send the car understeering off in to the scenery. As this is effectively my third car, top notch tyres were less of an issue, although I still wanted something that handled and stopped come rain or dry. A quick look at black circles revealed that other than the ultra cheap Hung Well death masters, the Kumho was the next best bet. Having used Kumho’s before on my mum’s TT, dad’s Jazz and one of the company vans, I was fully aware that they were a good tyre, in every case before out performing the original fit equipment.

Once on, their 100% success record was unbroken, the car gripping and handling in all conditions. For £65.00 per tyre, I figured this is probably one of the best value bits you could buy to improve the MG.

Lastly was something that was purely cosmetic. I’ve always thought the ZS lacks something in frontal visual drama, so I thought I’d look round for an after market front spoiler / splitter that doesn’t look chavvy! I eventually found one from Poland that seems to fit the bill, understated and looks almost like original equipment. One hundred pounds later, it’s ordered and on it’s way so I wait with anticipation to see if it’s as good as the photo’s look!

The most important bit though, of course, is driving the car and from that aspect I am smitten! I am pleasantly surprised by the overall competence of the package considering both the age of the design and budget that MG had when they were creating the car. The ride and handling is excellent and certainly doesn’t feel like it comes from a base that dates back to 1995. The engine, whilst newer, spins sweetly and has plenty of torque. The seats, also used in the MG ZT are big and comfortable, whilst being supportive. Ironically for a car with so much sporting intent, it also does an amazing impression of a great cruiser. Shame it never came with cruise control then. The only issue, as I mentioned in the last report, is the quality of the cabin materials, even though they are screwed together well and don’t rattle or squeak.

Whilst cruising along the M11, I pondered about how good a modern day MG would have been like if the company hadn’t have gone to the wall; the great wall that is. Not what we are expected to get at some point, a Chinese MG but a genuine British engineered ZS replacement, the sort they had in the pipe line in the form of the RD60. We’ll never know though and that’s sad, not only for me as I’ve taken a bit of a shine to my MG, but to thousands of other people, be they MG Rover workers or other enthusiastic owners.

For a relatively humble car, the Peugeot 306 has had an impact not only on me but on thousands of other people. It was a vehicle that had as greater reputation for being a cracking diesel as it did for being a stonking hot hatch. In fact, so great was the impact that I ended up owning four of them in various different flavours.

After my 309, I was sold on Peugeots. When the chance to have a company car came up, first on my wish list was a 306. Unfortunately I was still quite young and the insurance companies were not on my side, so again I had look for the most potent model that was still insurance friendly. Enter the 1.8XT. With only 105bhp from its 1.8 8V petrol engine, it was a tad slower than the 309, but as a package the car was so much better.

First up were the looks. The rounded body and voluptuous hips were a million miles away from its slab sided predecessor, not only did this car have functionality it had beauty too. Inside also, Peugeot took a massive step forward with the quality of its materials and design of its cabin. The dash top glove box, covered with the same fabric as the seats on the XT, was a novel feature that proved useful (although when air bags became the norm on later models this disappeared).

The whole car was wider, which not only improved the interior space, but transformed the way the car handled. Gone was the slightly rolly polly body control, replaced by a flat footed but still game chassis that still had the ability to entertain as well as comfort the passenger. Even the XT, which could only really be described as a regular model sat on a set of 175 x 14 tyres, went round corners in a way that shamed many a hot hatch of the time.

My tenure of this particular car only lasted eighteen months as this vehicle seemed to have the engine from hell. After going back under warranty for engine bottom end bearings, engine management and several other issues, I had to suggest that I swap it. Again though, I was sold by the handling so there was only one car to have, an XSi.

With 123bhp this had usefully more grunt, along with all the sporting paraphernalia that I had desired since my first Astra. That said, it was still quite subtle, and in its Diablo Red metallic colour (arguably the best colour for a 306), it looked smart. Handling again took a step forward with revised damper rates, stiffer springs and wider tyres, but in true Peugeot fashion, this was done without ruining the handling. The two litre engine was a gem and being an eight valve lump had plenty of low end torque, even if it didn’t rev its heart out.

As it turned out, it was also the best built 306 I’d own, never once during my time of ownership did it rattle or squeak. It did have its downsides though and like many a Peugeot owner of the time I would have quite happily taken a sledge hammer to the push button keypad that operated the immobiliser. This was another car I wish I could have kept, but this was only in hindsight as at the time there was one car I wanted more, the GTi-6.

The GTi-6 was a true revelation and the first properly quick car that I’d own. Performance compared to my other 306’s was in a different league and the six speed box was more than just a novelty. Handling was broadly the same as the XSi, if not slightly lighter on its feet although this may have been something to do with entering any particular corner around 10MPH quicker than I had done previously. The steering was fluid and spoke to you in a way today’s electrically assisted systems do not. It was a real driver’s tool and had qualities that I have been unable to find in more modern machinery.

I ended up owning that car for nearly four years, I loved it that much, until I was told that I had to change it (company car policy). The problem was I didn’t have a clue as to what I was going to get to replace it, so I went for something completely different. More about that in another blog.

The 306 itch never left me though and the time I bought another one I had opted out of the company car scheme down to the government changing the taxation rules. Also the house hold car count had grown to two, one performance car and one shopping car. This time the 306 was the shopping car.

The XS I ended up acquiring by accident. I had a plan to build myself a “light weight” 306, something cheap and cheerful. I asked a friend who dealt in category C and D write offs, if he could find something suitable on which I could create my shopping come track day car out of. A couple of weeks later he gives me a call saying he’s found a black car that looks a bit tasty for a couple of grand, virtually no work needed and not actually written off. When I get the chance to see it, it turned out to be a 1.8 16v XS, a model I’d never heard of.

Doing a little more investigation is turned out to be a little bit of a sweet spot in the 306 range. Built as a run out model, it came fitted with the free revving 115bhp, 1.8 16v lump from a 406. Body kit (as with most late 306’s) was the same as the GTi-6, as was the widened track rear axle. The best bit was group 5 insurance. On the road it didn’t disappoint either, being suitably feisty and handling with the same sort of aplomb as the 6. So good was the car he found that I decided not to strip it, instead keeping it original.

Sadly though, it was now where near as well built as previous models I had owned, and after a couple of years, my love affair with the 306 was over. The new airbag seats were no where near a comfortable, giving me back ache, and there was an incredibly annoying rattle from the back of the dash. It was time to move on.

I will look back on my 306 days with great fondness, it was a fantastic all rounder and one of the most entertaining cars I will probably ever own. Sadly though, Peugeot followed it with the 307 and 308, cars now where near as good, despite being better built. One day they may make a return to their former glory, but for now I am happy to have the memory of four of their best models.

There are plenty of cars that fall off people’s radars over the years, and the 309 is one such car. Never the prettiest car in the world and over shadowed by its smaller brother, the 205, the 309 has probably been pretty much forgotten by most people. For me though, the memory will never fade, as this was the car that taught me what a hot hatch should be.

The 309 entered my life because I was laid up in bed with an ankle full of snapped ligaments and bored. My steed at that time, an Astra, was starting to suffer some superficial rot and I was getting tired of it. Being incapacitated for a couple of weeks with a copy of the Parkers guide and some car mags was always going to cause me trouble.

Being at University at the time, I had to be careful and work to a budget. This wasn’t only with the initial purchase price, but with running costs and insurance. I wanted speed, something with the biggest bang per buck. Studying the various publications revealed that the 309 had the lowest insurance group of any car that could break the nine second barrier to sixty. From that point on the die was cast, this was going to be my next car. A couple of weeks later, leg still in cast, I was the proud owner of a metallic grey 309 SRi.

The SRi was effectively the 205 GTi 1.6’s bigger brother. Based on the same floor pan and suspension as the smaller car, it was clothed in boxy uninspiring body work. To make matters worse (or better depending on your opinion), other than the multi holed 14” alloy wheels it looked no different to a base model car. Hardly the trendy sort of car a nineteen year old student should be interested in, but I wasn’t buying it to impress the ladies.

Inside, for the second car in succession was another dose of 80’s velour, but this was finer stranded than the material used by Vauxhall, and if you sat up too quickly, it would pull your trousers down! The dash board was also a retrograde step. Materials used by Peugeot at the time were definitely a couple of pegs below that of their opposition, and a quick tap on the dash would return a thin insubstantial hollow sounding noise.

On the plus side however, and in complete contrast to the Astra, the 309 had a gear box that was a pleasure to use and steering that spoke to you, despite the awful feel of the actual wheel rim. The ride too was a revelation, and despite some body roll, the car went round corners properly without modification. Compared to today’s cars, the performance was hardly stunning, but the engine had reasonable torque and endowed the light weight chassis with a decent turn of speed.

This was the car that taught me how to drive, learning what a decent chassis could do in all situations. This is also the car that taught me about lift off oversteer, but I’m sure I am not the first driver to say that about a warm Pug!

I ran the car for nearly forty thousand enjoyable miles until I got my first proper job, where upon I had to choose a company car and being smitten with the 309 it was only ever going to be another Peugeot. I was offered the car back a couple of years later, but being a home owner with bills by that point, I sadly had to pass up the offer. Shame really, because if I hadn’t, I’d probably still have the car now.

The Mk II Astra, the car where I first started my motoring life, my first car, even though it wasn’t the first car I’d driven. Subsequently I probably view it with rose tinted spectacles, but for the purposes of this piece I will try and be as objective as possible. So why with the various pieces of interesting machinery available in the early 90’s did I choose the stodgy Vauxhall?

For several years before my seventeenth birthday my mum and dad took me driving at the weekend in an Astra GTE 16v, around local supermarket car parks (remember those days, when shops weren’t open on a Sunday!). Now, obviously there was not a chance in hell of getting insurance on one of these, so I had to settle for closest thing I could afford. A 1.3 it was then!

A Merit or L model wouldn’t suffice though. I wanted all the sport accoutrements, which at that time included Recaro seats, rev counter, three spoke steering wheel and spoilers, in effect I wanted an SRi with a 1.3 engine. After studiously studying the Vauxhall catalogue, the only car that came close was the 1.3GL. It had the rev counter, the same interior material as the old GTE, so the seats could easily be changed, and as for the spoilers, well I’d just have to fit one. Eventually I found a light metallic blue one and as luck would have it, it was fitted with a boot lid spoiler.

Anyone that owned a 1.3 MkII Astra will probably remember it for one thing, the cracking engine. It revved freely, punched way above its weight and on the whole was quite economical when your foot wasn’t welded to the bulkhead! Sadly though the suspension set up wasn’t to the same standards. Whilst it was safe and hung on gamely, it had no where near the aplomb of the Peugeots of the time. Body roll was monumental and the skinny 155 section tyres promoted understeer rather than entertaining handling.

The interior was trimmed in 80’s velour, and the dash was made from hardest plastic known to man, but on the whole it was durable and far better built than its French opposition of the time. The biggest design flaw from the driver’s seat however, was the thick C pillar which from the outside was trimmed with a black plastic vent. It looked very cool as a design feature, but rear quarter vision was seriously limited. Refinement was also quite good for a car of its type, being a half decent cruiser and acquitting itself well on motorway runs.

As a package, for the average driver, the MkII Astra was brilliant and far better than the equivalent Ford Escort. For me though, it needed improving. First up were the springs, dampers and anti roll bars, which were swapped with those from a written off SRi a friend had acquired. Also off that car came the brakes but sadly missing was the interior, so it was off to the breakers yard to source a set of seats which eventually came from a Cavalier (a time when manufacturers made parts interchangeable from model to model!). Last but not least, wishing to retain the look of the standard car, the tyres were changed to a set of 175’s. The ride quality had been compromised but now the car handled.

It served me well for nearly two years, seeing me pass my driving test, going to university, and enjoying many a great night out until the point where tin worm took hold. It wasn’t terminal, just annoying. Besides, by that point, I had two years no claims bonus, so it was the right time to trade up to something quicker……

We all have personal rules to which we live our lives. They are the sort of fundamental things that define us, from a refusal to ever touch a cigarette right the way through to only ever buying Heinz Tomato Ketchup. One of my personal rules is that I should not to gamble. Over the years I have found this to be a completely fruitless exercise, be that playing cards or purchasing a lottery ticket, I never come out on top. So why should buying a car be any different?

Last weekend in a moment of madness I decided to trade in my unloved Honda Civic for an MG ZS180. When inspecting the MG, I detected a rattle coming from the inlet manifold. A quick mobile web search brought up that there could be a couple of reasons for this, one being a quick cheap fix with a soldering iron and the other a slightly more serious and expensive breakage. On the whole I liked the car, so ignoring my own rules I gambled and bought the car, with a hefty discount but without warranty.

On getting it home the first thing I did was lift the bonnet and removed what I believed to be the offending item, the variable inlet system actuator. In this little box are situated two micro switches, which are operated by a motor driven cam. Being a great British product, there is a design fault which means the solder joints break, rendering the switches inoperable. A quick modification and some re-soldering fixes this problem (or £80 for a new one) and the rattling disappears. Sure enough, when I opened my actuator, there was the broken solder joint.

Ten minutes later, the repaired item was ready to go back on to the car. It was only when I went to re-fit the item that my heart sunk. With out going in to too much detail, the actuator operates a plastic arm which runs through the inlet manifold. Branching off the arm are plastic sockets which attach to a ball on the variable inlet butterflies. The actuator moves the arm, which opens and shuts the butterflies according to the revs of the engine. However, over time these sockets wear and become detached, leaving the butterflies to operate of their own accord and producing the offending rattling sound.

The arm on my car was loose and a quick wiggle revealed that is was no longer attached to anything! Ordinarily, this would not be a problem, all you would need to do is open the all plastic inlet manifold and replace the arm. Except in this case, in a feat of great British design and engineering, the manifold is sealed. New manifold £550 plus VAT!

Bugger!

Next day I trawled the net looking for either an upgraded or aftermarket part to replace my defective unit, only to find that not one exists! Fortunately though, I managed to find lightly used part with a warranty for £300, and after an evening of tinkering and a considerable amount of help from the forum members on www.themgzs.co.uk, I replaced the offending item. It is now running perfectly.

There are a couple of points that came to mind whilst doing this work. One, what the hell were the designers thinking of when they produced this part? Why did they weld shut the construction panel (which is also held down by screws!) on the manifold and not use a rubber gasket? Secondly, why has no one produced a service exchange part or an improved new unit, especially considering this engine was not only used by MG Rover in various models of its cars, but also by Land Rover in the Freelander. On just this small piece of evidence I can start to understand why we have seen the demise of the British motor industry.

As for my car, now the engine is fixed, I am going to spend the weekend getting to know it better, so next week I can bring you a full report on exactly how good or bad it actually is to drive.

As I’m getting older, I am becoming more impulsive and this isn’t always a good thing, especially where cars are concerned. For instance, today I went out with a friend to find him a new car and ended up coming home (well after the weekend I will) an MG ZS180 for myself.

It all started like this. I got a telephone call from my good friend Steve a couple of weeks ago, asking if I had any ideas on what sort of car he should get. His criteria consisted of five doors, something reasonably quick and something reasonably interesting for around the £2500 mark. I had a few ideas, but the one he picked up on was the MG ZR.

After the first couple of silly suggestions, like the 2002 ZR120 with no service history, he came up with a silver ZR160, around 70 miles away at bang on the £2500. The only snag, it wasn’t available for viewing until the weekend. As he still hadn’t driven one, let alone sat in one, I suggested that we find a car locally to try, even if he didn’t buy it. I didn’t fancy doing the one hundred and forty mile round trip only to find out he didn’t like the seating position! Scanning the local rag turned up two at a dealer a couple of miles away, so off we trotted to look at the cars.

The place is quite a large used dealership but walking up and down the rows of various vehicles, it became apparent that the cars we had come to look at were, disappointingly for my friend, no longer there. There was however a metallic blue MG ZS180 sitting there. Now, those of you that have read this blog before will know I have a bit of a soft spot for these cars, especially in face lifted form. This particular car however wasn’t the later version, but it was a reasonably clean 53 plated car with only 70k on the clock and a service history.

I twitched. Looking round the vehicle it appeared to be very straight and clean with only a stone chipped nose sullying the exterior. Inside, however, was perfect despite the awful dash shine that used car dealers do insist on using. I twitched again, and headed towards the sales office to get the keys. After a quick enquiry about how much they would offer me on my Civic, I was out on the road test driving the creamy V6 motor.

Surprisingly, it was incredibly well screwed together, with no interior rattles or squeaks, despite the hard second rate plastics used on the lower dash panels. Handling was still taught and no noises from the suspension. The only bad point appeared to be a rattling noise coming from the engine bay, an almost tappety sound. A quick mobile internet search revealed that it is a common fault caused by a faulty actuator switch on the variable inlet system. Cost for repair, free – if you are proficient with a soldering iron!

Now, for as technically good the Civic is, I have never gelled with the car. It is quiet, efficient, cheap to run and completely reliable, it just has no soul, nothing to emotionally attach me to it. The MG on the other hand makes nice noises, the interior is flawed, but some how charming and in general it has character. For any petrol head this is enough of a reason to swap a car….. so, that’s exactly what I did.

As for my friend Steve, looks like I’m going to be taking a 140 mile round trip tomorrow and I’ll guess I will just have to stay calm if he doesn’t think the ZR has a big enough boot!!

Have you ever started something and wish you hadn’t? Around a month ago, a friend’s father was made redundant from his job of thirty odd years and along with it went his company car. Not being a “car person” in his words, he had no clue to what he was going to do next, so he enlisted my help in finding him a vehicle suitable for his needs.

The remit, on the face of it, was relatively simple. He was looking for a car which had a slightly higher seating position (for his wife), was not too big and was economical to run and insure. Budget started at £12,000 but could go higher if a car really caught his eye. Other than that, the rest of the specification was to be left down to me. Jobs like this are rarely that simple though!

I started a short list, which consisted mainly of Japanese and far eastern cars as generally they are the most reliable. I also included a Ford, the C-Max and a Vauxhall, the Meriva, as he had been used to driving both manufacturers vehicles as company cars. After spending a couple of weekends trailing round the local dealers and test driving the various cars, the short list was reduced down to just two vehicles, the Nissan Note 1.6 petrol and Kia Carens 2 litre diesel.

Personally, I liked the Note a lot, but this wasn’t my car, so I had to be careful not to bias any choice. The Carens though was a car which was off my radar before I started looking. Launched before the car that put Kia on the map, the Cee’d, I considered it as an also ran and clearly I wasn’t alone. Checking various magazines and internet road reports, information was sparse and what was available just wasn’t very informative. Poking around it at the dealership though revealed a half decent vehicle, something I wasn’t expecting considering what I’d read.

From the outside, it has a cohesive look if not a little “American” in execution. The nose is of course Kia corporate, flowing backing in to a large boxy body. The GS specification we were looking at came shod with 15” alloys which made it look a little under wheeled and made the body sides look somewhat slab sided, but overall it was neat if a little uninspiring.

Inside things improve with decent quality plastics on the majority of surfaces (although not all) and a pleasant design for the dash. The seats are comfortable and supportive although they are trimmed in a light grey fabric which for a people carrier may be seen as a slight error. That said it does create a light airy cabin, no doubt aided by the large glass area. Rear space was also good, courtesy of a sliding middle bench which meant that if it wasn’t carrying seven people then the rear passenger could lounge in comfort.

On the road was where the Carens really surprised me. I had though that due to the size and weight of the car, and Kia’s reputation prior to the Cee’d of lacklustre driving cars, that it would be squigy and unresponsive. Instead what I was greeted with was a punchy refined engine and taut chassis. Don’t get me wrong it was no hot hatch, but infinitely better than the Meriva that I tested a couple of weeks ago.

After some careful deliberation, the Carens won through. No it wasn’t the best driving of the two, but as an all round family car it just nosed ahead. Also in the mean time, after some calculations, it was decided to ditch the idea of buying new and look for a decent second hand car, a point I agreed whole heartedly with. So the new task was to find the best value Kia Carens up to two years old in two litre diesel specification.

In around an hour I came up with, what I believed to be the perfect car. An two year old ex Kia owned vehicle with 12k miles on the clock in a nice metallic red. One down side, it was 250 miles away, but the price was £1500 lower than the going rate and a quick call to the garage, a Kia main dealer, revealed that it was a good car. Not being a trusting person though, I wanted to check it over so I organised a Sunday outing, with its prospective owner to view the vehicle. After a pleasant, early morning run there, we inspected the car which turned up no nasties and the deal was done. So why was it so cheap? I always take car dealer stories with a pinch of salt, but this guy seemed to be genuine. It turns out that he had already sold the vehicle two months before to a buyer whose finance had fallen through. Being a trusting sort of chap he gave the potential buyer some time to re-arrange his finances, but it never happened. Eventually the sales manager pulled the plug and requested that the car be turned over as soon as possible.

Sorted? Well, not quite. I have been given a new task. My friend now wants an in dash sat nav installed along with rear parking sensors. The dealer suggested it wasn’t worth them doing it, so I’ve got the job. Oh well, lets just hope this goes as well as finding the car.

Comparison is inevitable really between the Vauxhall Meriva I am testing today, and the Nissan Note I reviewed a couple of weeks ago. Both are designed to fill the mini MPV niche, which means the cars have a small footprint but a large and flexible interior. The end result however couldn’t be more different.

Available in a vast range of models starting at £11,235 for the 1.4 Expression, there are various petrol and diesel options right the way up to the sporting VXR range topper. There should be something to suit most tastes, and with 0% finance over two years on selected models, they are also affordable. The model I tested came towards the top of the range, a 1.7 diesel Design which was also fitted with the VXR body pack.

The Meriva is based on Vauxhalls ever popular Corsa floor pan, from the outside though you would never know. The body is of a tall one box design which stands surprisingly high, so it appears more cube like than a lot of its rivals. The nose takes the familiar Vauxhall family look which then runs back in to a mini Zafira style side and rear body work. The overall the effect is handsome and the additional body kit gives it a certain degree of road presence.

The interior will feel very familiar to anyone that has owned a Vauxhall before, with its somewhat slabby design. The ergonomics of it are sound with well sited and clearly marked controls, although it looks a little sterile. Touch the dashboard though and you realise that Vauxhall have invested a lot of time and effort in getting the materials right for this car. There is a substantial feel to the car as a whole and for a vehicle designed to be abused by the rigours of family life, this is a good thing. The large glass area and drivers sunroof go a long way to making the interior feel airy and light, despite the drab coloured materials used.

Without getting the tape measure out, despite a similar sliding system, the rear leg room is doesn't look or feel as generous. Head room is not so good and is compromised for anyone over 6ft because of the intrusion of a second rear sunroof. The boot however is relatively big for such a small car, and is certainly capable of taking all the paraphernalia needed for a young family weekend away. Also, if it still isn’t big enough then Vauxhall have equipped this car with their flex seat system, which allows the split rear seats to fold completely flat.

Considering this is classified by Vauxhall as one of their range toppers the standard accessories fitted to this car as standard are quite poor. From a safety point of view the omission of a Bluetooth hands free is bordering unacceptable. What is worse, it cannot even be had as an option unless you choose the Club specification car. On a slightly more pedantic point, the Meriva’s stereo also lacks an auxiliary input port for things like MP3 players and the like. On a positive note, it does come with cruise control, manual air conditioning and twin headphone outputs in the rear.

Start the engine and the 1.7 diesel rattles in to life. It is one of Vauxhalls older units and from the drivers seat it certainly feels it. When the car gets rolling things don’t really improve. With only 100bhp on tap, the car often feels like it is struggling to carry its weight, often getting bogged down which creates a big hole in the power band courtesy of turbo lag. Despite its languid nature, this particular model is capable of returning a combined fuel consumption figure of 54.3mpg and only emits 139g/km of CO2.

To compound the engines problems, the gear change can be best described as both rubbery and notchy, far from a pleasure to use. Quick changes baulk and there is no joy to be had from swapping cogs. In fact I would go as far to say as it is the worst change I have experienced in a car in many years.

Next up is the ride and handling and unfortunately things do not improve. The Meriva set up has definitely been biased more towards comfort, rather than handling prowess. For a mini MPV this is quite an important facet, but somewhere along the line Vauxhall left out the bit that gave the driver any enjoyment.

The first thing you notice as you enter a corner is body roll. The Meriva is quite a high vehicle and one that carries a reasonable amount of weight for its size. As the car pitches you hang on to the steering wheel as the flat seats release their purchase on you as you slide either towards the door or the passenger’s seat. As the car settles in to the bend, there is a wobble, as if the damping isn’t quite up to job of containing the weight of the tall body. Pushing the car to the limit is a fruitless exercise as well, creating understeer that cannot be dialled out by using the throttle. Ultimately this is a safe car for the average driver, but those who know what they are doing should look elsewhere.

Its not that the chassis isn’t capable, certainly it is keen enough to turn in despite the steering feeling artificially weighted, it’s just that you can’t deride any pleasure from driving it. Ordinarily, I may have been a little kinder to the Meriva, considering the type of vehicle it is, but having recently driven the Note and knowing how good that car is with regards to both ride and handling, then I can’t do anything other than criticise Vauxhall for this poor showing.

On the whole then, the Meriva is a competent if uninspiring car. It is ideal for those people who do not have any interest in driving, but appreciate the qualities of solid build and economical running. If you want to enjoy your driving however, then it is probably best to look elsewhere.